eviltechie.co.uk Life and times of a sit-down comedian

Stockwell in depth review

Slightly more in depth review in the cold light of day.

Turned up at about quarter to six, there were already 2 comics waiting for the doors to open, including Swiss Bianca (possibly a joke there - sounds a bit like Swiss Banker - maybe not) from Sunday’s gig but that was okay.  Got chatting to them and was dispensing my intimate knowledge of the wonderful world of comedy.

Then a mob of about 6 people turned up, walked straight past us and into the pub garden (which was unlocked by this point) - it was a bit tense as there are only 5 open slots so we were a bit annoyed if they were going to push in front and all go on the bill.  It degenerated into a sort of west-side story standoff with gangs of roving comedians facing off against one another, armed with rapier wits, less-than-lethal litotes and irony bars.

Not really - BUT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FUNNY IF IT HAD!

As it turned out, only one of them was a comic anyway so it worked out fine.  Got my name on the bill okay, then decided to go and get some chips as I don’t really like the food at the cavendish - I drink enough beer there that I don’t feel bad about not eating the food.  I went down the road with Tom (fellow comic I’d just met) and his friend and we went to a fishbar.  As we were sat there, eating chips (riveting this, isn’t it), a couple started having a domestic right next to us.

“LEAVE IT” said a rather bad tempered man

“I CAN’T F**KING LEAVE IT” said his equally unhappy partner (I’m assuming it was his partner, I didn’t feel it was appropriate to interrupt their conversation in order to ascertain their exact relationship status)

“TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF MY F**KING FOOD” the man shouted

And I wondered who he was talking to - was it perhaps the fish & chip seller, which would seem to be a bit harsh, given that preparation of food does generally involve touching it - plus of course, I don’t believe he had actually paid at that point so technically it wasn’t yet his food.  And I started thinking I should write this stuff down, as it’s probably the kind of thing that comedians can make a joke out of.  But I decided not to, because I didn’t want to get stabbed.  Someone had been stabbed just down this road the week before, so that’s not a baseless fear - although that stabbing did allow me to make a joke at the expense of david the promoter (comedians - turning tragedy into showbiz opportunity).

Anyway, my interest obviously registered with this man because he turned to us and shouted

“DON’T YOU F**KING LISTEN TO THIS”

I replied

“Well, if you’d just be slightly quieter, I might actually be able to do that”

I didn’t really, of course, because of the already aforementioned aichmophobia.

Anyway, we headed back to the pub to prepare for the night.  Phil & Stevie G were both booked, but as neither of them had brought a friend, they thought it was best if one of them didn’t do it, rather than try and scab friends from someone else and possibly earn the ire of David the promoter (who is, despite my bad taste cheap jab at him, a really lovely guy).

Stevie G was on first and delivered the kind of professional, tight set I’ve come to expect from him.  I felt bad in some ways because he probably didn’t get as good a reaction as he might have if he’d been on later - on the other hand he should probably take it as a compliment that he was felt to be strong enough to open.

There was one guy I felt really bad for - he got on the stage, really nervous, pissed around with the mike stand for about a minute before picking the mike up and putting it back in the stand, took out a folder and held it in front of his head before reading stuff out aloud.  All of this was getting a lot of laughs, by the way.  However about a minute in he just said he couldn’t do it anymore and walked off.  I thought it was a real shame and I wondered why he walked off when he was getting big laughs, maybe the audience weren’t laughing at what he was expecting, but they were laughing.  I don’t think you can take yourself too seriously in this business.  As Logan Murray says, you’re a clown, you’re playing the fool - and if by doing so you get to say some interesting and provocative stuff (like say Mark Thomas or Jeremy Hardy do), so much the better.  Without the laughter, you can’t say anything (or you can, but people won’t listen).

Anyway, I went on, had at least 10 seconds laughter without even saying a word (I know, I just look funny) - actually it was the incredibly offensive t-shirt I’d bought in thailand  and then launched into my set.  Managed to forget a few of the things I wanted to say, but I think I was over time anyway so it’s probably for the best.  I was pushing it a bit with the stabbing joke anyway.  Good audience reaction, although not good enough to be bought a drink, not that I’m bitter about this or anything.  Oh no. (saying one thing and revealing another - thankyou logan).

I went up to the very nervous guy after the show and told him he should carry on.  I love being a comedy guru.  Although I’ve yet to manage to convince any naive young female comics that their comedy chakra’s are between their legs or on their chest & I just need to manipulate the energy lines.  Give it time.